Great news, Runescape's general store has introduced
a new way of chopping wood. The chain-saw. All of Runescape is going
wild, because you now can cut trees easier then ever before. The new
very high-tech saw is powered by gasoline. It is the first time in
Runescape that something works by its self. The day the general store
released the chainsaw there was a line up at the general store as never
seen before and there was a big opening party at the Grand Exchange.
When they opened the doors everyone went storming inside to get this
super high-tech machine that you can cut trees with. The bad thing
about this saw is that the minute the doors opend the wood prices
dropped with a precentage of 78.89004 %. This will influence the work
of the lumberjacks. Therefore we had a quick word with a lumberjack. RSH: "What are your thoughts on the situation?"
Lumberjack: "Well I think it is going to make my work a lot
harder, because now I have to work longer and then I need to take more
food. My wife is already going on about how much I eat and she won't
make anymore sandwiches for me. So now I have to make my own and I
don't know how. Can anyone tell me? RSH: "If you want to teach this lumberjack how to make a
sandwich call: 993933844875"
Varrock dogs are not very healthy.
by Sam
In Varrock there is a big problem. It is the dogs. They carry tons of
flies with them and the are also very sick. This could make the city
dangerous to live in because the people could get sick. However nobody
knows how to get rid of the dogs with all the sickness. The king is
worried a pandemic will start. This could influence the Varrock Grand
Exchange (G.E.) market because the G.E. clerks could get sick or even
die. One of our reporters went and took a look at the scene there.
Luckily he took his cell phone and we could stay in contact with
him.
RSH headquarters: "What is the seen there?"
RSH reporter: "All of the people are running around with gas
masks on. I managed to take a picture of a guy with a mask on."
RSH headquarters: "How does it smell there?"
RSH reporter: "Well the dogs are going insane, they are pooping
and peeing everywhere. It really stinks!"
RSH headquarters: "What is the Varrock government doing about
it? They must be working very hard on it right?"
RSH reporter: "Well the only high rank person that is worried is
the King. The rest of the government is just sitting in their chairs in
their castles(as always)!!!"
RSH headquarters: "What is the King's biggest concern?"
RSH reporter: "He says to everyone that he doesn't want a
pandemic to break out, but all he is worried about is himself."
RSH headquarters: "So it looks like the King isen't doing
anything about it?"
RSH reporter: "No in fact I think he is pretty happy about it
all because when everyone has left the city he has the city for him
self as he lives in his castle."
So that was the phone call, it looks like the citizens of Varrock have
a big problem. Hopefully the King will do something about it otherwise
the city will go down. In the picture one of the great Varrock wariors
is being followed by one of the sick dogs.
Noob's talk
This is a new feature in The Rune Scape Herald in which a Noob gives his/her thoughts on various issues.
Soloing monsters is the topic this week.
Noob: "Well today I decided it would be cool to go solo some high leveled monsters. Such as a level 2 goblin, an al-kharid guard and the highlight, a level 12 minotaur. All my friends thought I was insane to solo these monsters. For this special event I saved money for three years to get my full bronze. My friends all came over for what I called a "solo monster attack party". I sat down in front of my laptop and logged in. The excitement was spreading throughout the room. One of my friends left, as he couldn't handle the suspense. The first goblin was rather easy to kill but it was kind of hard because I almost ate my entire inventory. I died trying to kill the al-kharid guard. But then this very generous guy gave me another bronze dagger to fight with. The minotaur killed me in one hit. Stay tuned for my next attempt in 5 years. I will be sure to be more prepared next time. We all had a good party anyway even though I died twice out of three. I am a hero now with my friends.
Money tip of the week
Make leather f2p
Current yield:
about 40 gp per cowhide as you buy the hide for 167 gp and sell the
leather for 202
Requirements.
- Buy cowhides at the G.E. and go to Al-kharid and tan them to leather.
Then sell them at the G.E.
Dr. Pil Speaks
I met a younger man yesterday staring up a wall on the main street
where I live. Fascinated by the insane mind, I approached him and tried
to sollicit information about his behavior. I somewhat expected an
aggresive response. In fact he chose to ignore me. Seeing he needed
help, I carried on trying to find my way into his insane mind. My
primary position in life is to help those in need and he obviously
needed help despite his efforts to ignore the helping hand being held
to him. I tried all the tricks in my psychologist book to get him to
open up to me. Reverse sympathy, reverse empathy, reverse situtational
character advice, reverse ignorance. He continued to stare up the wall,
occasionally glancing over at me with wild terrified eyes. At one point
the situation clearly needed more aggresive response from myself as a
health care professional and made the split decision to pin him to the
ground and call in some help. He was bigger than I anticipated and he
managed to throw me off and pin me to the ground, all the while yelling
about leaving him alone. He managed to get me in a half nelson and with
a free hand, to my astonishment, began to call the local police force.
When the officers arrived, they seemed to know the insane man. I was
taken in to the station in handcuffs where I was told that I had broken
up an undercover police operation and was to charged with assault and
attempt to interfere with police business. I quietly told them I was
Dr. Pil and was only trying to help. They insulted by telling me I
didn't look the same as on television. I had to tell them again that I
was the origianal Dr. Phil except the one without the "h" in his name.
As usual, laughter, disbelief. I was told I was the insane one and let
off. My topic today is insanity. I confused undercover police
activity with insanity and the police confused complex psychological
analysis and thinking with insanity. So who is insane?
A reader wrote in with this question: Dear Dr. Pil, "I had a conversation with my toaster this morning
and ended up threatening it with castration. Have I lost my mind?"
Dr. Pil speaks: "The toaster is not the issue here. Castration
is a very powerful image to want to execute albeit on a household
appliance. Interesting, the topic this week is insanity. A gray area
for sure. I would suggest that you ask your mother should she be alive
about castrating a toaster. Perhaps the answer lies in some of her
behavior many years ago? If that prooves fruitless, switch to eating
cereal. "
The Rune Scape Herald has no affiliation with
Runescape.com or Jagex. The views and opinions expressed within this paper are
solely
those of The Rune Scape Herald.
by Sam